Personal Genius

Every spring I wander into a riparian landscape near Denver, CO, usually joined by my grown children and their various friends and partners, searching for the elusive blond morels (Morchella esculentoides) that fruit in this area. Morel season is brief and dependent on spring rains, which don't happen regularly in this part of the world. So when the showers finally do arrive you need to drop everything and just go. It's all about the thrill of the hunt, the excitement of discovery, and the tastiness of these weird-looking Ascomycetes. 

The search always takes a long time, but once you hear the first, "I found one!" the rest are discovered en masse. I'm not a mycologist, but my guess is that the spread of each underground fungal organism, which is called its mycelium, sends up mushrooms simultaneously, which means you tend to find them in batches. Mycelium consists of microscopic threads called hyphae that join and tangle together to create a fibrous web. Mushrooms are the fruit of the fungi used for reproductive purposes. Some mushrooms are good to eat, some are good for medicine, some are good for spiritual journeying, some will make you sick, and some will kill you. Like people, they're a mixed bag. And just like people, they're difficult to get to know because most of a fungi's life is lived in secret and hidden away from prying eyes.

I've always liked secrets, which is probably why I became a psychotherapist. After 60 years of life and 25 years working as a professional counselor, it's obvious to me that what's happening on the surface is greatly dependent on what's going on underneath it. One's personality is a constellation of instincts, culture, and personal history that give meaning to our external worlds. It's who we "really are." But curiously, it's rarely what we present to others. That would be our personae, which are curated images used under specific conditions. These "faces" constantly shape-shift depending on who we're interacting with. They're not necessarily who we are, but instead, who we want to be perceived to be. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with this. It's how we navigate through a world filled with other people, and all is well as long as the personae represent true aspects of our deeper personalities. But we run into trouble when they drift away from who we "really are" and create lives lived at odds with our authentic selves. This is a denial of powerful character traits that form - I would suggest - one's "personal genius," which resides in the subterranean world of the personality. It's my experience that each of our personalities contain something more potent than anyone else's on the planet - a unique feature that creates a singular type of genius. Unfortunately, it's the very thing that most of us spend our lives running away from.

Why? One possibility is that we often learn, either from abuse in our families of origin or bullying at school, that what makes us special also makes us different and sets us up as targets. Therefore, we'll attempt to snuff it out just to stay safe. Another reason might be that one's personal genius might seem so natural and easy that it is undervalued or even denigrated. "Ah, it's a big nothing." Because as the old saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Also, we may have a tendency to be attracted to things different from ourselves - the allure of the exotic can be strong and push us toward activities or pursuits that have nothing to do with what we're actually good at. Finally, while we may set a course to use our personal geniuses, we may also get derailed along the way by adhering too closely to the rules of conventionality attached to particular endeavors, which will stultify our potential for innovation, greatness, and personal satisfaction.

An understanding of this dynamic leads directly to my therapeutic method, which attempts to promote an individual's growth through the re-discovery and implementation of personal genius. Here's a brief description.

After collecting information related to the issues at hand, I begin every therapeutic relationship by examining one or more of the client's personal geniuses. This is usually a confusing conversation for the person, who has a hard time believing they have a "genius" of any kind. But after asking questions like: What have you always loved - even as a kid? What have you always been really good at? What can you do effortlessly? they always come up with at least one thing. And then this becomes the starting point - the seed for future growth. The genius can be anything: an affinity for growing things; a sense of rhythm; an ability to read other's emotions; memorization; spatial understanding of objects; movement; an ability to relate to small children or animals; a mathematical proclivity; ad infinitum. There are over 8 billion personal geniuses on this planet because there are over 8 billion people on this planet. The genius may lead to a specific goal or be used in service of fixing a current problem. It also promotes positivity and action. So, for instance, instead of formulating a goal of "getting rid of depression," we set out to "increase sensitivity and vitality" utilizing the person's genius. Many painful states, bad habits, and compulsive behaviors can be resolved organically by introducing new energy via our personal geniuses.

One's personal genius resides in the personality, which is, as I mentioned previously, a constellation of instincts, culture, and personal history. It is vital that we take an inventory of these components because this allows us to identify our personal geniuses and begin to understand how they may have developed. 

Instincts

There are people who believe that due to things like consciousness, self-awareness, and cultural institutions that instincts don't really apply to humans. Personally, I think nothing could be further from the truth and that instincts provide the base for human existence. It’s the default mode we revert to under stress. It stimulates movement toward what we desire and away from what we fear. Instinct drives us to: hesitate when entering a cave; hunt game animals for food and sport; engage in competitive sports; seek a mate; dominate other people or even entire regions; lend a hand to a friend in need; and look suspiciously at anyone unlike our own group or any situation outside our experience. Here is a (I'm sure) non-exhaustive list of human instincts:

• Pain avoidance/Pleasure seeking
• Survival (immediate vs. long-term; individual vs. species)
• Sexuality
• Reproduction
• Power and control
• Intimacy
• Cooperation
• Insider/Outsider orientation
• Food/Energy acquisition

Culture

In contrast to instincts, putting out a finger and pinning down one’s culture is trickier business. For instance, I used to bartend in a small town in the western part of the United States. Cowboy and mining cultures were still very real and alive in this place, and I got to interact with a lot of “old timers” who frequented the bar. One lined and leathery rancher who still ran a big spread would always talk about his “karma” and how it was messing with his life and business. The term struck me as odd coming from someone like him, so I asked where he heard it. He said he picked it up while in the army during the Korean War. So, cultures mix. And cultures evolve. In fact, there is no culture that people share perfectly, but interestingly, it’s a term we all use to categorize and describe personal background and context. It’s not perfect, but apparently, it’s still useful.

Culture results from the intersection of instinct, environment, and history – a cluster of internal and external experiences composing a collective narrative. It includes:

• Language
• Religion
• Ethics
• Education
• Economics
• Literacy
• Art
• Literature
• Music
• Sports
• Clothing 
• Customs related to
• Sexuality
• Birth
• Death
• Food
• Major life events
• The physical body
• Attitude toward the stranger

Culture declares what is valued and what is despised. It underlies and drives behavior. It provides a framework and context to human life. Even if we break away from our origins and set a novel course, our particular culture is what we’re breaking away from and, like it or not, it leaves an indelible imprint on our consciousness.

Personal History

Finally, personal history includes all dimensions related to family of origin, birthplace and hometown(s), the era into which we’re born, personal and external events that greatly impacted our development and future lives, and our personal dispositions/in-born traits. This may include things like:

• Are you an immigrant, 1st generation, or 10th generation living on the same land?
• What is the size and history of your family of origin? Where were you in that order?
• What is your ancestry?
• Was your home pacifist, militaristic, somewhere in-between?
• Did you grow up religious? Secular? Something else?
• What were your financial resources?
• Did you have urban, suburban, and/or rural living experiences?
• Did you have war, famine, economic depression experiences?
• Do you, or others close to you, have a trauma history?
• What technologies have been available and used by you?
• Are you "by nature" aggressive, passive, something in-between?
• How would you describe your physical appearance?
• Do you have any disabilities?
• What is your relationship history?
• Do you have any children?
• What is your employment history?

Sifting through these aspects of ourselves (instinct, culture, and personal history) in pursuit of our personal genius is a fascinating journey of self-discovery. We spend remarkably little time thinking about ourselves in this way, but these details obviously form who we "really are" and greatly affect our day-to-day experiences. Personalities are unique. People don't even share the same instinctual profiles. For instance, some of us lean more toward pleasure seeking rather than pain avoidance; have over-charged sexual drives; and desire intimacy more than others. Are these in-born tendencies or the result of what we experience? The answer to this question is always the same - it's both. Examine "loners," people who prefers to spend time by themselves for example. Are they born that way or are they that way due to what they've experienced? Even siblings who grow up together may have extremely different orientations to this character trait. One may be a loner while the other is wildly extraverted. This is due to a combination of in-born traits and slight differences in their growing up experiences; things like birth order, age at time of major family events, availability of friends close-by, experience of being bullied, etc.

I have explored all these aspects of myself and done some deep thinking related to them, so I will present myself as a case study to show how the process of developing a personal genius works. I've been told by many clients that I'm the best therapist they've ever had. This isn't a boast, it's just what they've said and their lives often do change in ways they value. The truth is I'm terrible at many things, but this is something, apparently, I'm very good at and I consider it a personal genius. So, how did it develop? I would say that it is a combination of an in-born ability to identify hidden forces and structures that affect external reality and a trauma history that created a habit of disassociating. Let me explain.

First, when I was a senior in college I took a course on Critical Theory. For instance, a Critical Economic Theory, such as Marxism, examines how hidden economic forces and structures create the world we live in. Critical Race Theory does the same for race; Critical Gender Theory does the same for gender; etc. Most religions can even be viewed through this lens because, for them, God (or the Goddess, Gods, the Tao, whatever) is the hidden force that operates in ways that determines surface reality. I got a 100% on the first exam in this course and the professor and his assistant invited me to meet with them. They said they just wanted to talk with the person who understood this topic so well that he didn't get a single answer wrong. Honestly, I think they were a little disappointed in me because I was not the type of person they were expecting - I wasn't wearing a black sweater and beret or smoking a cigarette. I was just a typical kid from Indiana but it was clear to all of us that this was just how my mind naturally functioned.

Second, my father was an alcoholic and a mean drunk. He was verbally and psychologically abusive to my mother and I was witness to many awful encounters between them. My response to years of this was to disassociate. They would be in the kitchen screaming and I would be ten feet away in the living room watching a baseball game on TV as if nothing was happening. This became an automatic reaction in later life whenever I experienced heightened emotions - even good ones. I would shut down and numb out. Obviously, this did not lead to healthy relationships and I had to work for many years on myself to break free from this habit. And I did, but I was still able to do it when needed. As a therapist working in a clinic, I often had seven or eight 50-minute sessions in a day. Imagine how ineffectual I would be if I was still thinking about, and connected to, what the first client said while I was with the fourth client. But because I am able to disassociate when needed, as soon as the first client left the room the encounter was completely out of my mind and heart and I was ready to fully engage with the next one. What once was a handicap became a useful tool.

These two traits, along with all my other instincts, culture, and personal history, created a personal genius that resides deeply in my personality. Because I've identified it and recognize its benefits, I am now able to use it. It allows me to meet certain goals and address various problems that arise, and it is my firm belief that everyone on this planet has something similar. Finding it comes from the personal self-reflection and exploration described above. Benefitting from it comes from learning how to effectively put it into practice. I would encourage everyone to give it a try.